Dating Mr. December Page 20

  ‘Oh God, yes. Oh Sue, I’m really sorry. I’ve had a pretty lousy day too.’

  ‘Oh dear. Well, I’m afraid I’m not going to make it any better,’ muttered Suzanne, dropping her car keys onto the coffee table. ‘I’m here with news, Emma. Not that good either.’

  All at once, everything clicked into place: the late night visit, the muddy boots, the frustration and fatigue in her friend’s voice.

  ‘What do you mean, “Not good news”?’ she murmured.

  ‘Why don’t you sit down?’ said Suzanne gently.

  Emma flopped down on the edge of the sofa Will had stretched out on so casually only the afternoon before.

  ‘I’m afraid Will’s had an accident. It’s OK,’ she added quickly, as Emma’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘He’s in Lancaster General Hospital and he’s going to be all right, but it was nasty and if we hadn’t been there…’

  ‘No!’ Not like this, she thought, please don’t let it end like this…

  Suzanne reached forward and smiled, placing a hand on her arm. ‘Don’t worry, it’s not too serious. He’ll be fine in time.’

  The rush of relief Emma felt was physical and overwhelming. Why did she feel like this? As if… as if… she still loved him…

  ‘What’s he done to himself?’ she asked shakily.

  Suzanne sighed. ‘Concussion, fractured fibula, bruised ribs. And some very impressive cuts. Not entirely sure about his leg until the consultant’s seen him in the morning. Hardly life threatening, but painful and it could so easily have been much worse.’

  ‘When did this happen? I was with him all morning. I—I spent the night at the cottage.’

  ‘It was this afternoon. It’s taken us until evening to get him down and he’s bloody heavy, I can tell you. It’s a wonder I haven’t had some hernias to treat.’

  Emma didn’t even smile.

  ‘I see you’re not in the mood for jokes. Cheer up. It’s not that bad. He’s going to be OK, you know. Physically, anyway.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Will needs your support right now, more than ever. He’s hurt but, worse, he’s mad as hell at himself. Having to be rescued by his own team… just think about it.’

  Will needed her support? Big, tough Will, who always, at the end of the day, held all the cards, who had power over her, absolutely and totally?

  ‘How did it happen?’ she whispered.

  ‘We had some injured climbers cragfast on Ravenhowe. None of us are really sure what he was doing, but evidently he wanted to be first in. Couldn’t wait for us. When we got there the climbers were safe but Will was at the bottom of the crag.’

  ‘How far had he fallen?’ asked Emma, although she knew the answer would mean nothing to her.

  ‘Forty-five, maybe fifty feet. That may not sound too far but he still got away with murder,’ she paused. ‘We’ve had three serious falls from Ravenhowe in the past few years—one was fatal, so Will has been very lucky, thank goodness. Until Bob gets hold of him, that is,’ she added. ‘The pain he’s in now will be nothing.’

  Emma was grateful for Suzanne’s attempts to soften the blow and reassure her, but it just wasn’t happening today.

  ‘Far worse is his sudden tendency to whine. He’s driving everyone mad and persuading him to let us carry him down was a nightmare,’ said Suzanne grimly.

  ‘I’m sorry he’s been hurt, and I’m grateful for you coming to tell me, but I don’t think he’ll want me there…’

  She snapped her mouth shut, but Suzanne continued, ‘All we’ve heard since we carried him down was your name. He was ranting about you every step of the way.’

  ‘My name?’ She knew she must have sounded completely stupid, but Suzanne seemed not to notice.

  ‘Yes. Yours. We’re sick of hearing it. He’s been driving the hospital staff mad to have his mobile, but they won’t allow it in there. So,’ she heaved a sigh, ‘I said I’d fetch you.’

  ‘How long will he be in hospital? Will he be all right?’

  ‘Just overnight, I guess, until the consultant can see him tomorrow. I’m hoping his leg’s not as bad as it looked when we got to him. He shouldn’t need an operation but he’s definitely going to be out of action for quite a while. You know how much he’ll like that.’

  Not going to like it? Emma knew he’d hate it. Stuck on the sofa or behind a desk with climbing and rescues off the agenda. The recovery would be far more painful than any injury. And it was true, he’d be absolutely furious with himself at having to be rescued, even if it was in the course of duty. So why did she care so much? Why, when he’d hurt her like this, did she care how he felt, about what happened to him? And why was he asking for her? A guilty conscience maybe, but more… no, it wasn’t possible. He’d had his chance.

  ‘Is he well enough to talk to me?’

  ‘Oh yes, he’s well enough to do that.’ Suzanne smiled wryly before getting up from the chair. ‘He was perfectly able to complain, too, when we wouldn’t let him have his phone. Look, Emma, I’m pretty tired to be honest, so I need to know. Are you coming with me to the hospital or not?’

  Emma gave a nod in reply. He could be asking for her to tell her goodbye. It could mean absolutely nothing.

  ‘Go and get dressed then, girl. I’ll wait for you downstairs.’ Snatching up her keys from the table, she smiled indulgently at Emma, who was still sitting there, feeling totally shell-shocked. ‘Come on, then. What are you waiting for? Get your clothes on, get out of that door and into your car before I drag you.’

  ***

  Wasn’t it ironic, thought Will, as he lay on his back on the narrow bed. He just hadn’t seen it coming, his fall. It hadn’t been from a great height, thank the Lord for that, but it had been enough to hurt him more than anything he’d ever felt before.

  He’d thought he could sort everything else by himself. Over-confident Will, always in control. Now, one slip, one tiny moment of lost concentration when he was tired and his mind was not quite one hundred percent where it should have been, had landed him here. On his back, hooked up to God knows what and helpless. Abso-fucking-lutely perfect.

  He couldn’t recall exactly what had happened but maybe that was the drugs they were pumping into him. Maybe part of him didn’t want to remember but the climbers must have told Bob and the team everything by now. The boy had a concussion, the girl was just shocked and cold. At least they were safe. He’d managed that much. Never mind that he was going to be in trouble, that there might be an inquiry within the team and doubtless, he’d be hauled over the coals. Him, a deputy leader too, though maybe not for much longer. Well, tough. He didn’t care. After all, no one had been hurt but himself.

  It was his other mistake that really upset him. The one that had ended up with Emma hurt and out of his life. Just like his fall, he hadn’t seen her coming, though he acknowledged now she had been creeping into his life for months now. Since that first moment he’d seen her at the base, she’d been beautiful, confident, and, he realized now, reaching out to him. And when she’d seen him on the fell top, naked and vulnerable, he’d known then that she was special and unique.

  He’d tried hard to resist the possibility of letting her close, because he knew it would end like this, with them both hurt and in pain. One slip, one moment with his eye off the ball, and she’d floored him.

  And now he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get the chance to put things right.

  ***

  The rain was coming down in torrents as Emma followed the doctor down the motorway to Lancaster General. She knew Suzanne didn’t have to go with her. In fact, she was worn out, Emma could see that. She also knew that her brusque manner hid a genuine affection for Will. Coming all this way to tell her went beyond the call of duty and was something only a good friend would do. She hoped their friendship would continue when she moved back to London to take the Echo job, but knew it wasn’t that likely. They’d only really just got to know each other.

  Just like her and Will.

&nb
sp; Emma fiddled with the radio, trying to find some music to distract herself but she soon gave up. Nothing could distract her from thinking about Will. He deserved a hearing. Whatever he had to say and no matter what he’d done, she couldn’t bear the thought of him being hurt. She didn’t hate him that much. She didn’t hate him at all, in fact, just ached for him to love her. The one thing she was sure she could never have.

  Because, let’s face it, she told herself as she queued at the busy motorway junction, she just didn’t belong up here in his world. For a brief, shining moment, she’d convinced herself that this was the place for her. That, while this place never buzzed and sparkled like the city, something else, someone else, had rocked her world.

  Not now. She was a metropolitan girl, pure and simple, and the time had come to go back to her roots. There was simply nothing to stay for any longer, no matter how much she loved him or hoped, deep in a corner of her heart, that he cared for her.

  The windscreen wipers could hardly cope with the rain sluicing down the screen. Even in midsummer, the sky was already dark, the lights on the motorway blinding her.

  An hour later she was following Suzanne through the maze of corridors and departments that led to the side room where they were keeping him overnight for observation. As they approached the nurses’ station, the staff greeted Suzanne warmly and nodded at her in acknowledgement. She paused to ask them about Will’s progress, and Emma hazarded a look through the small window in the door of his ward. For a moment, she thought she had the wrong room. Was this the same big strong guy who had carried her down the jetty and up the stairs into his bedroom? Who had made love to her for half a night and all morning? Was this the man who had hurt her so much? The one making her hurt so much now…

  She felt a rush of love sweeping over her that only intensified the pain.

  ‘OK, Emma?’ Suzanne was beside her, her voice soft. ‘He broke every rule in the book to help those climbers, you know. Typical. He’ll be in trouble when all this is over.’

  Her smile told Emma he wouldn’t. ‘Don’t tell anyone, but I’d have done exactly the same thing.’ Emma tensed as she felt Suzanne’s hand on her arm. ‘Shall I come in with you or do you want to be alone?’

  ‘Come in with me. Please, Sue.’ Her voice sounded like a small child’s, then hardened. ‘I’ll see how he is and then I’m going. He’s got five minutes. That’s it.’

  ‘Really?’ asked Suzanne quietly. ‘Don’t you think he deserves more than that?’

  Before Emma could answer, and before she knew what the answer was, Suzanne had knocked on the door and pushed it open without waiting for a reply. The figure in the bed stirred and opened his eyes.

  ‘I’ve brought someone to see you,’ declared Suzanne sternly.

  Emma stared. Will was shockingly pale and something else she’d never seen before—vulnerable-looking. As he propped himself up on one elbow, she could see the steri-strips covering the cuts on his forehead and cheek. His hospital gown was hanging off one shoulder where a large bruise was already beginning to bloom spectacularly. She could see the sprinkling of hair on his chest, the one that only this morning she’d kissed and explored.

  She swallowed. Why on earth was she even here? What had she come for other than to say goodbye and be said goodbye to. Maybe she wouldn’t wait for either of those things. Once she’d heard from his own lips that he was fine she was out of here for good.

  He leaned against the pillow. ‘Emma, thanks for coming.’

  ‘Does it hurt?’ she asked.

  ‘No. Not now,’ he lied.

  Suzanne shook her head grimly. ‘We had to give him Entonox and half the morphine supplies.’

  ‘You didn’t have to cut my bloody trousers off!’ Agitation made him grimace in pain.

  ‘Standard procedure, Will. You know that. Quickest way to get the morphine in.’

  ‘You know damn well you didn’t have to stick it in my arse. You know bloody well you could have done it IV.’

  Suzanne smiled broadly as she picked up the chart at the bottom of his bed and scanned it cursorily. ‘Just be grateful I was there. Otherwise Bob would have had to do it and, believe me, he needs an awful lot of practice.’

  ‘Glad you find it funny,’ he croaked and sank back down on to the pillow.

  ‘I see you’re on the mend. And they’ve taken the drip away. Much better for you,’ she said, replacing the chart. ‘So I’m off. I want to see how one of my patients is getting on in geriatrics and then, thank goodness, I am going home to my other half.’

  To Emma’s surprise, she squeezed Will’s hand and kissed his cheek. ‘You’ve got some things to sort out, I expect. And, Will darling, when you have sorted things out, try and get some rest and stop making such a nuisance of yourself.’

  ‘I’m never going to hear the last of this, am I?’

  ‘Probably not.’

  ‘You should work on your bedside manner, Dr. Harley!’ he called, as Emma hugged her friend goodbye and whispered ‘thanks’ into her ear.

  So, she thought, his sense of humor was back: he’d survive. The door closed with a quiet click. Outside, she could see Suzanne saying her farewells to the staff. Now, Will and she were alone together in the overheated stuffy room. Emma hugged her bag to her and stood a few paces from the bed. The moment had to be put off as long as possible.

  ‘Nice room. Lucky to get your own.’

  ‘Sit down,’ he ordered, no longer looking so vulnerable.

  ‘I won’t, if you don’t mind. I’m not staying now that I know you’ll live.’

  He ignored her. ‘I said sit down, Emma. This is going to take a while.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re up to it, Will? It could be painful…’

  ‘Who for?’

  ‘Both of us.’

  ‘You’re not going to get hurt by what I have to say—me, that’s a different matter, but I probably deserve everything I might get.’

  Her heart pattered lightly. This was the start of it, then, but he was wrong if he thought she wasn’t going to get hurt. Too late for that, way too late. Dragging a chair closer to the bed, she sat on the edge of the vinyl seat, with her bag on the floor and her hands in her lap. She studied the floor for a moment before she could face him.

  ‘How on earth did you let this happen?’ she asked eventually.

  ‘I was stupid.’

  ‘You seem good at that,’ she muttered.

  ‘You’re probably right, but I was obviously extra stupid today. I seem to have made a big mistake… again.’

  ‘Not like you to make a mistake,’ murmured Emma.

  ‘I wasn’t thinking straight,’ said Will, reaching over to take her hand. Emma kept both hands resolutely in her lap so Will laid his fingers resignedly back on the cover.

  ‘My mind was on other things, Emma, you know damn well why,’ he said, grimacing as he tried to subdue the pain shooting through his leg. Seeing his expression, Emma tried to resist the temptation to fling her arms around him, to kiss him and hold him tenderly. She stayed stiff and upright in the chair, determined that Will would never get close to her again.

  He tried again. ‘There’s something I need to explain… something you didn’t give me a chance to tell you back at the cottage.’

  Though he was right next to her his voice came from a long way away. Her stomach began to knot again. ‘I said I didn’t care.’

  ‘I think you do. I hope you do, Emma.’

  ‘Will, I didn’t come here to hear your platitudes or your excuses. I came to see you because you’d had an accident. I’ve done my duty and now I’m going.’

  Going home and leaving Bannerdale. Back to the city where I belong.

  She should be saying it out loud. Shouting it, but the words died on her lips.

  He’d had enough for one day. She’d had enough. She reached down to pick up her bag from under the chair but Will’s strong fingers closed around her wrist. He was half leaning out of the bed now.

  ‘Emma, you�
�re not going anywhere. You’re going to bloody well sit down right now and hear me out. Or so help me I’ll get out of this bed and make you stay!’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

  Take your hand away, she told herself, pull it out of his.

  But she kept it there, in the grip of the man she loved, still loved, more than anything else in the world.

  ‘Listen to me. I’d have been with you this afternoon if this stupid thing hadn’t happened. As soon as you left I had to go. You know the rest.’

  ‘Will—’

  ‘Shut up, sweetheart. Just for a moment—please.’ He gritted his teeth as he struggled to get up but kept her wrist in a tight grip.

  ‘You’re hurting my hand—’

  He released the pressure a fraction. ‘I know what you must think.’

  ‘Do you, Will? Do you really? What would you think? I know this much. That you will never commit to a woman. Not to me, not to Kate, not to anyone. You asked me for time and space and I’m giving it to you. I’m going home!’

  ‘Are you absolutely decided on that, Emma? Absolutely sure that nothing I can say will make any difference?’

  What I want, she thought, is so beyond your capability, is so far and away a dream I will never have, that it must be impossible.

  ‘I’m going.’

  ‘Emma!’

  As he shouted her name, Emma heard a noise outside the door and caught the nurse on duty staring at them in alarm through the window. The door handle rattled and a nurse walked in briskly.

  ‘Everything all right in here?’ The nurse was at the bottom of the bed now, picking up the chart and frowning. ‘Are you sure you’re OK, Will?’

  ‘Fine,’ he snapped, letting Emma’s arm drop into her lap, but keeping his eyes locked on hers. ‘Absolutely bloody fine.’

  ‘We need to do your obs,’ said the nurse, looking at them both suspiciously. ‘It’s getting very late. I’m afraid you can’t stay much longer, love, no matter what Dr. Harley says.’

  Emma picked up her bag. ‘I’m just going.’

  ‘She’s not.’

  The nurse raised an eyebrow. ‘Staying or going, your girlfriend needs to wait outside for a minute. If you both don’t mind, that is.’